Wife Swap: Cullen vs Brooke
by OliviaAnnV
Summary: Emmett signs Esme up for Wife Swap. The new mom is actually kinda nice... but she hates the Cullens. And what about her husband and kids? Rated T but it could change.
1. Mail

A/N: A new Wife Swap story. I got the idea watching Wife Swap. R&R. Enjoy.

I don't own Twilight.

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Chapter One: Mail

Esme pov

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**

"Esme," Alice chirped. "I brought in the mail for you." She handed me the mail and walked upstairs.

I put my book down and flipped through the mail. Everything was normal; bills, the hospital and junk mail. But there was a large envelope that stood out.

It was addressed to Carlisle Cullen. I didn't open Carlisle's mail; and I didn't want to start now.

I glanced at the clock. There were a few hours until he got home. I would show it the letter to him then.

I put the mail back on the table and resumed my book.

When I had just finished the book, I could hear Carlisle's car pull up the drive. I grabbed the envelope and raced to the door to meet him.

The door opened and Carlisle walked inside. "Hello, honey," He smiled and kissed my cheek.

I smiled back at him and stared into his beautiful topaz eyes. I always got lost in them, so it took me quite a few minutes to remember what I wanted to ask him.

"Um, Carlisle, you have a letter that looks like it's important." I told him, sweetly.

"Thank you, sweetheart." He replied and he took the letter from my hand.

He opened it and looked at it for a few seconds.

He looked up, glared at the wall and yelled, "Family meeting now!"

I had heard him yell before, but never like that. I wondered what the letter was about.

Everyone gathered in the living room.

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Carlisle pov

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I scanned my children's faces, looking for signs of guiltiness. It didn't seem like something Edward or Bella would be involved in. Alice could've been in on it; after all she always warned us of Emmett and Jasper's pranks. This was the work of Emmett and maybe Jasper. Rosalie probably knew, but covered for Emmett.

"I got a letter today." I held up the large envelope that held the Wife Swap acceptance letter. "I'll read it to you."

"Dear Dr. Cullen,

Thank you again for your video entry for Wife Swap. We find your family very interesting and feel would make for good entertainment. Hopefully you and your family will be able to take something positive from this experience; as well as share your lifestyle with another family. Esme Cullen should be picked up by a limo, driven to the Airport and flied to Phoenix, Arizona. The swap will last for two weeks, and the plane tickets are in a packet in this envelope. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact us. We wish you luck.

Wife Swap Enterprises"

"Okay, so, what the hell is this?" I yelled.

"Alice didn't see anything bad." Emmett squeaked.

"Why would you do this?" I asked, loudly.

"It seemed like fun." He said.

"What if the new mom figures out what we are?" I asked.

"Well," He obviously didn't think that through.

"Wouldn't it be weird for you to be couples and have sex with each other?" I asked.

"Um…"

"Who made the tape?" I asked.

Emmett and Jasper's hands slowly went up.

"Go get it!" I yelled and they ran upstairs and put the disc in the DVD player.

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A/N: I know that Carlisle was a bit different than normal, but he's just mad at Emmett and Jasper for pulling the prank. He doesn't want Esme to leave.

Review now. I just want reviews.


	2. The Tape

A/N: This chapter is funny. Lol.

I don't own Twilight.

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Chapter Two: Tape

Third Person pov

THE TAPE

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A picture of Carlisle came onto the screen.

"Hello everyone," A voice that sounded like Carlisle but was really Jasper said. "I'm Carlisle Cullen, a doctor and husband of Esme Cullen."

A picture of Esme came up.

"That's Esme." Jasper said. "We married early and discovered that Esme couldn't have kids. So we adopted."

"Edward is our youngest son at seventeen years old. His parents died in a car crash, his sister and he survived, but just barely. Carlisle nursed them back to health."

The scene changed to Edward playing the piano with Bella beside him.

"Bella is a smart young girl that we adopted when she jumped off of a cliff and Carlisle helped her. She and Edward are best friends and care deeply about each other. She enjoys listening to Edward play the piano."

Bella started humming to the music and had her head rested on Edward's shoulder.

The scene changed to Emmett's room with him sitting in the floor, playing video games and Rosalie on the bed with her laptop.

"Emmett is a nice young man once you get to know him. He enjoys video games and plays pranks on everybody. He was adopted on one of our hiking trips when we found him mauled by a bear."

"Hi," Emmett waved.

"Rosalie had a hard past and doesn't like talking about it. She is known for her sarcastic comments and her rudeness. But deep down, she has a soft spot… I think."

Rosalie ignored the camera and continued typing on her laptop.

The scene changed to Alice's room – clothes thrown everywhere.

"Alice is a cute girl that is very sweet but can be bossy when someone won't go shopping. She woke up in the doctor's office and doesn't remember her past."

Alice walked out of the closet. "Hello, Carlisle." She smiled.

"What are you doing now?" Jasper asked.

"I'm picking out what to wear tomorrow." Alice replied.

The scene shifted to Alice's closet.

"Cool." Jasper said.

The scene shifted to a photo of Jasper.

"This is my son, Jasper. He had a hard past and often is emotional."

The scene shifted to the garden where Jacob and Renesmee were playing.

"This is Renesmee, Edward's biological sister; she is 10 years old and loves to play. Jacob is her babysitter. He loves dogs and even brings his dog, Seth, over to play."

The scene shifted to Carlisle's library. "That's the Cullens. We really hope to be chosen for Wife Swap."

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So what did you think about this chapter? The whole Jacob is Renesmee's babysitter thing and the Seth dog thing.

Review... or else.


	3. Goodbyes

A/N: The wives leaving their families.

I don't own Twilight, just sometimes I wish I do.

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Chapter Three: Goodbyes

Esme pov

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Carlisle had gotten over the fact that we could be exposed when I told him that it would be vacation. He would do anything for me and said that I did need a vacation but he would miss me.

Truth be told, I'd miss him too. I'd miss his warm – to me – hands that wrapped around my waist. I'd miss his lips on my cheek, my lips, and my throat. I'd miss everything.

I was glad that the kids would be tortured by the new mom. I'd seen the shows; the fun loving family didn't have fun. In this case, my family was that family. It was enough punishment.

I waited at the door for the limo. I thought of how my new family might be. Maybe a mom and dad who were strict, maybe a bunch of self absorbed little girls.

The limo pulled up and the driver instructed for me to get in.

"Just a minute," I yelled to him.

Alice hugged me; they all hugged me and Carlisle kissed me.

"I love you all!" I smiled at my family.

And I got in the limo and they were gone.

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Heather Brooke (New Mom) pov

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My purple toenails had just dried when it was time to leave.

I grabbed my pink jacket, put it on and slipped on my red flip-flops.

My children walked downstairs.

"Hello Mother," Vera smiled at me. "We'll miss you."

"Yes Mom," Alex added. "We hope you won't miss us too much."

"Yeah." Leah giggled.

Vera was nine; Alex was fourteen; and Leah was four.

"Do you have my suitcases, Joey?" I asked my husband.

"Here you go, Heather." He handed me my bags and kissed my cheek.

"I love you guys." I called.

And I got into the limo.

* * *

So, at first, I intended for Heather to be a mean self-absorbed bitch but I think that she should be a nice mom who at times can be a little bit bossy.


	4. Meeting the Brookes

A/N: Esme is a bit emotional at the end of this chapter. Sorry if it's long, I just felt like writing a lot of stuff about the house.

I don't own Twilight.

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Chapter Four: Meeting the Brookes(Esme)

Esme pov

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The limo finally reached the destination; Phoenix, Arizona.

I grabbed my suitcases and got out of the limo.

It was a nice house; big and white with no upstairs or at least that's what it seemed from out here.

I walked inside, the camera crew behind me.

The first room was the kitchen. It was small but pretty.

There was a refrigerator right after the front door. It was white with some art clipped to the sides with magnets. A few of the pictures had the name 'Leah' written in adult print under it.

"They must have some little children." I said for the cameras, noting how most of the pictures were probably finger painted.

I walked past the fridge to the sink. It was a bit small but was clean. Just above the sink were pink curtains on a window.

"A bright little family," I chuckled to myself.

I walked past that to a door. I opened it to see a washer and a dryer.

I closed it and walked out of the kitchen.

The living room was brighter than the kitchen with more windows. The curtains on them were green with flowers on them.

The couch was big and situated against a wall with a small TV in front of it.

There was a coffee table against another wall with some pictures of the family on it.

The first picture had a young woman with short blonde hair in it. She looked to be in her twenties and had greenish-blue eyes. She wore a yellow sundress and she had her arm around a man with messy brown hair. He had brown eyes and wore a green T-shirt with jeans. There were three children in the picture. The first was tall, but thin. She had chocolate brown eyes, blonde hair and looked to be about nine. She wore a blue T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Then there was a boy who looked older than her with black hair and glasses. He had blue eyes and wore a red button up shirt with jeans. He was a teenager. The next one was a cute little girl who had to be a toddler with short dark brown hair and green eyes. She wore a pink long sleeve dress with white leggings under it. The blonde woman held her.

They were a beautiful family, maybe not as pretty as our family of vampires but they looked good together.

"They look like a good family." I said for the cameras.

I walked out of the living room and into the dining room. It had a large table with six seats. There was a light overhead and there was a brown carpet.

There were three doors by a stairway. I walked into the first one, it had a soft brown carpet with a large bed against a wall. Above the bed there was a window.

There were a bunch of small dressers around the walls and a box full of toys by the bed.

I guessed that this was the toddler's room.

I exited the room and went into the next.

It had a bed pushed up against the wall just like the other room. But it had a bunch of tall dressers and white flooring. There was a nightstand by the bed with a purple lamp on it.

Up on the tallest dresser which was in front of the bed was a small TV.

This was most likely the girl's room.

"Wow, they aren't as strict as I thought they might be." I said for the cameras.

I walked out of the girl's room and into the next one.

It had a dark brown carpet and a bed with brown sheets pushed up against the wall. There were more dressers with another small TV. But this time there was a desk with a lamp on it.

I exited the room and went up the staircase that was beside the doors. Up at the top there was a door.

I opened it and there was the master bedroom. At the back of the room there was another door. It didn't look like a closet.

I opened it. There were wooden steps that led into the backyard.

I walked down them.

There was a tree with a swing on it. And a garden was right beside it.

I walked through the backyard until I was at the side of the house. There was a fence with a dog in it and a screen door.

I climbed over the fence and opened the screen door. It led to the dining room.

The puppy followed me.

"Isn't it adorable?" I asked the cameras.

I walked to the table and sat down; there was the handbook.

I opened it.

_Dear New Mom, _

_I am Heather Brooke, a very busy person. I'm 34 years old and happily married to my husband, Joey. We have a busy schedule, but we always have time to learn and play. I wake up at 5:00, take a shower and then wake up the kids and Joey. I then fix breakfast for myself, the kids and Joey. Joey takes Alex to his middle school, Vera to the elementary school and Leah to preschool. Meanwhile, I do the chores around the house (See the chores section) and at 1:00 I pick up Leah from school. Then at 3:30 I pick up Alex from school and at 2:20 I pick up Vera from school. _

_They do their homework when they come home and sometimes I help them. I check their homework and put it in their book bags. Then we go and play outside and eat dinner at 6:00. At 8:30, Leah must go to bed. She likes me to read her a story. At 9:00, Vera must go to bed. And at 9:30, Alex must go to bed. I go to bed at 10:00._

_My husband, Joey gets home from work at 11:00. _

_**Chores**_

_When the kids are at school, I do chores. They consist of:_

_Washing dishes_

_Watering the plants_

_Feeding Mimi (My puppy)_

_Going grocery shopping (If needed)_

_Cleaning the house_

_Mowing the yard_

_Gardening_

_I really hope that they are not too much for you._

_Sincerely,_

_Heather Brooke_

"They're here." Matt, one of the cameramen whispered to me.

"Got it." I whispered back.

I sat on the couch, waiting for them.

A man with messy brown hair – who I assumed was Joey - led two girls – who were probably Leah and Vera – and a boy – who was most likely Alex – into the living room.

"Hello. You must be the New Mom." Joey held out his hand.

"Esme and you are Joey, right?" I shook his hand.

"I'm Leah." The toddler said.

"I'm Alex." The teenager said.

"I'm Vera." The blonde said.

"Hi Leah, Alex and Vera," I said.

"Hi Esme," They greeted me.

And I felt like I was their real mother.

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A/N: Esme's always wanted to be a mother.

Review now...


	5. Meeting the Cullens

A/N: This chapter has _less _words than the other one. I'm so sorry if you were looking forward to a big description and everything. I'm exhausted today and I didn't feel like doing it. But I did do little descriptions of the rooms as she went into them.

I'm so happy I got some reviews.

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Chapter Five: Meeting the Cullens

Heather Brooke (New Mom) pov

I missed my children. I missed my Joey. I wondered how the New Mom would treat them.

The limo pulled onto a dirt path that led into the forest.

Would the family be homeless? Ew. I shuddered away from that thought. I wouldn't last a day living in the woods, so I wouldn't last two weeks at all.

But as the limo went farther down the path, a large white house came into view.

Was this family going to be a bunch of self absorbed bitches who wouldn't listen to a word I said? Probably.

The limo stopped in front of the big house.

I prepared myself mentally and stepped out of the limo.

I walked slowly toward the house and gulped. I missed my house and Joey and the kids.

I opened the door and stepped inside.

The living room had a couch, two chairs, a coffee table, a flat screen TV and a bunch of windows.

"Waste of money," I said for the cameras.

I walked into the kitchen.

It had a dishwasher, a large sink, a table, microwave and a bunch of gadgets that not even I knew about.

I walked over to the refrigerator. There was tons of food in there, but not much of it was out of the packets.

I walked upstairs.

The first bedroom looked as if it was a girl's. The closet was gigantic. **(Bella and Renesmee)**

"Waste of money," I repeated, shaking my head.

The second bedroom was also a girl and the closet was also gigantic but it was bigger. **(Alice and Rosalie) **

The third was probably a teenage boy's, it had pale green curtains and a bunk bed. **(Edward and Jacob)**

The fourth seemed to be another teenage boy's. **(Jasper and Emmett) **

Then there were the bathrooms, I decided that one was the girl's and one was the boy's.

Then just upstairs was the guest room and master bedroom.

I walked downstairs, noticing another door.

I opened it only to find the garage, full of nice and expensive cars.

I walked to the kitchen and opened the handbook.

_Dear New Mom,_

_I'm Esme Cullen, mother of eight kids, and wife of Dr. Carlisle Cullen._

"Eight kids? Are these people crazy?" I screamed at the camera.

_Our first child is Edward. Edward was adopted along with his sister, Nessie, when his parents died in a car crash. He enjoys playing piano and has developed a relationship with Bella._

_Bella is a shy girl that used to have suicidal issues. She jumped off a cliff, hoping to kill herself because her boyfriend left her. She enjoys reading and loves listening to classical music. _

"Suicidal issues?" I asked.

_Alice is a hyper little girl who at times can be quite pixie-like. When Carlisle was treating her, she got amnesia and couldn't remember her past._

"Eh?"

_Jasper is a quiet young man who seems to be able to calm Alice down. We rescued him from an abusive step-mother when he was 12. His twin sister, Rosalie, was also abused, but just not as bad. _

_Rosalie hates her step-mother, Maria, and always makes sarcastic comments to show people how she feels._

_Emmett is very muscular, he can look fierce at times, but he is really a big teddy bear. He loves video games and often says inappropriate things. _

_Renesmee is often called Nessie. She is ten and Edward's biological sister. Her babysitter, Jacob, lives with us and has a dog, Seth. _

_The dog may be big but it is perfectly harmless…. unless you anger it. _

_I wake up at 4:00, take a shower and get dressed. I talk to Carlisle a bit before he go's to work. _

_Then I wake up the kids; a knock will wake them up. They may take a few minutes or might even already be up._

_The kids drive themselves to school and drive themselves back. During that time I clean up a bit around the house. _

_When they get home they are free to do anything they want to do and 11:00 is their bedtime – Nessie's is actually 9:30._

_I hope you can handle them,_

_Esme Cullen_

"They're here," One of the cameramen, Johnny, whispered to me.

"Alright," I shut the handbook. "Let's do this."

I ran to the garage to meet them.

A silver Volvo and a black Mercedes pulled up.

A beautiful boy with messy bronze-colored hair stepped out of the driver seat of the Volvo. He walked to the backseat and helped a beautiful brunette out.

Out of the front seat was a large man with curly brown hair. I shuddered. He was quite large, so I labeled him as 'Emmett'.

He went to the backseat and helped out a pretty blonde, who by her expression I guessed was Rosalie.

They stood in a line in front of me.

Out of the Mercedes was a man who had to be in his twenties. He had blonde hair and I was positive that he was the father.

Then there were four other children. One had spiky black hair, one had bronze hair, one had blond hair and the last one was tan with black hair.

The father walked up to me. "Carlisle Cullen. You're the new mom?"

"Yes, I'm Heather Brooke."

"I'm Edward," said the bronze-haired boy.

"I'm Bella," said the beautiful brunette.

"I'm Emmett," said the large dude.

"I'm Rosalie," said the beautiful blonde.

"I'm Alice," said the black-haired pixie.

"I'm Jasper," said the intimidating blonde.

"I'm Nessie," said the bronze-haired little girl.

"I'm Jacob," said the large tan dude with black hair.

A big wolf-like dog came running at me.

"That's Seth, my dog." said the one who's name was Jacob.

This was going to be a tough time.

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The next chapter should be up by tommorow, I haven't started yet, but I think I know what to write...

So did you think of this chapter? Review.


	6. Couples?

A/N: I am soooo sorry. I couldn't start this chapter until this morning and it's not really good. Heather thinks she's losing it.

It was not what I planned, but I guess it's okay. I didn't feel like doing much.

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Chapter Six: Couples?

Heather pov

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I just met the Cullens yesterday. I already hated them.

**Flashback **

"_Bella," The pixie-like one whined. "Come on!" _

"_Alice," The brunette said calmly. "I'm not going shopping with you."_

"_Bella, you have to," Rosalie hissed. _

"_No I don't," Bella looked over to the bronze-haired boy. "Right Edward…?"_

"_Right." The one named Edward smiled at her like she was the prettiest girl in the world._

"_So, there," Bella said, her finger in Alice's face._

"_Fine, but we're definitely going tomorrow." Alice said, but then she whispered, "I've seen it."_

"_Has she?" Bella whispered to Edward._

_And Edward whispered something in her ear. _

**Flashback**

It was weird for them to argue over something as stupid as shopping, and I felt like there was something I was missing.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I said loud enough for who ever it was to hear me.

"It's Carlisle," Carlisle said, peeking into my bedroom. "Esme's usually up by now."

"Oh yeah… Sorry. I was… um thinking." I stuttered.

"Well, Esme takes a shower and gets the kids up." He said in his perfect voice. I could've sworn I heard laughing.

"Ok, well – uh sorry." I was quite nervous this morning.

"See you tonight." He said and then he left.

I got out of bed. I was so losing it.

I stripped and got into the shower. The hot water felt good against my skin. I felt relaxed and I knew I wouldn't be relaxed anymore when I woke the kids up.

I heard more laughter… I ignored it. Heather Ann Brooke, I thought to myself, you are so losing it.

At last it was time to wake up the kids. I got out of the shower and dried off. I put on a black turtleneck and a pair of ripped jeans.

I opened my bedroom door and went downstairs.

When I passed the kids rooms; it was loud. Alice was chatting to Bella about what she should wear, Renesmee was watching TV, Rosalie was watching TV, Emmett was talking to Jasper, Edward and Jacob were talking about Bella and Renesmee.

I walked to the kitchen and fixed some scrambled eggs (a meat substitute), waffles with bananas and strawberries and milk.

I put everything on plates at the counter and went upstairs.

I knocked on Nessie and Bella's door. Surprising me, Alice answered, saying, "I'm picking out what they should wear. We'll be down in a minute."

I knocked on Alice and Rosalie's door. "I'll be right down." A grouchy Rosalie said. "I have to apply my makeup. I'm _not _a morning person."

I knocked on Emmett and Jasper's door. "We'll be right down." Emmett said, chuckling about something.

I knocked on Edward and Jacob's door. Edward and Jacob came out and walked downstairs.

Edward was wearing a red, white and black plaid button-up shirt with a pair of jeans. Jacob was wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Didn't these people get cold?

A few seconds later, Alice, Nessie and Bella came down.

Alice was wearing a dress that barely covered her thigh. It was black and long sleeve.

Bella wore a red and black sundress and a pair of red high heels.

Nessie wore a black T-shirt and a pair of jeans.

Then a few minutes later, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper came downstairs.

Jasper wore a black turtleneck and some jeans.

Rosalie wore a blue dress that was strapless and short.

Emmett was wearing a dark blue T-shirt with jeans.

But that was not the only reason I felt weird. Edward had his arms around Bella her and was whispering things in her ear. Jasper had his arm around Alice. And Emmett had his arm around Rosalie and his lips at her throat.

Esme hadn't said anything in the handbook about couples.

I shook it off. It was just my imagination… Or was it?

* * *

I don't have Alice's sense of style. But I tried to think of what she'd wear.


	7. A Normal Morning

A/N: I'm writing Moonlight Changes at the same time as this. I would be happy if you could read it too.

Please understand that I'm busy-busy-busy. Schools starting back, I have two stories, chores, shopping. So I can't update everyday, but I still can update once or twice a day.

I love reviews! I'd like to give a special thanks to _Nellie_ _the Platypus, old twilight soul _and _ehmagadz_ for giving me some good ideas for further chapters. Lol

Enjoy:

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7. A Normal Morning

Esme pov

The next morning was surprisingly fun.

I 'awoke' at 5:00 and took a shower.

When I got out, I put on a purple t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I put spray tan on my arms and legs.

I didn't sparkle. Good.

I got up and woke up the kids.

Vera was a bit grouchy, Leah was happy, and Alex was cranky.

They were seated at the table; the cameras watching.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked.

"Pancakes." They all said.

"Pancakes coming up." I said, smiling.

I walked into the kitchen and tried to cook pancakes.

When I was done cooking, Joey had joined the kids at the table.

I dumped pancakes, eggs and bacon onto each of their plates.

I cut up Leah's and sat down at what I assumed must be my seat.

"Dig in." I told them.

And we ate, me trying to hold it down and them enjoying it.

Ugh. I ate fast, washed my hands and went to the bathroom.

I puked it out into the toilet.

When I got it all out, I washed my face and walked out of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Joey asked me.

"I'm fine." I told him. It was the truth; well it would be once I got the horrible vomit taste out of my mouth.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I just ate too much," I replied as if it were nothing. "I have a weak stomach."

"Jeez," He muttered. "She didn't eat anything."

"Now are we ready for school?" He asked the kids.

"Yes!" Leah replied jumping up and down. "Mrs. Bowman said that we will paint some more today." She giggled.

"What about you, Vera?"

"I'm happy; Mrs. Newsome said that we have extra homework, though."

"Mrs. Anderson said that we have a special assignment today." Alex said.

"Good, now let's go," Joey said.

* * *

Alex pov

I sat in my bed reading my science textbook. I awoke at four o'clock this morning because of a nightmare.

In my nightmare, Esme had fangs and blood dripping down her clothes. Her eyes were pitch black and filled with thirst. She had sauntered forward, toward us – my sisters and me – and sucked Leah dry. Then Vera. I stared at their blank and zombie like faces and looked up toward Esme. She was glaring at me and then she walked up to me.

That was when I awoke. I had to keep telling myself that she was a nice woman and would never hurt us. Esme wasn't a monster. Monsters were soulless creatures. Esme wasn't soulless; she was caring and loved us like her own children. And monsters weren't beautiful. Esme was beautiful; in fact she was prettier than my own mom who spent hours in the bathroom getting ready for her day.

A knock on the door pulled me back into the real world.

I got up and opened the door. Esme stood there, innocently.

"Your mom said that you usually get up now." She said; her voice was like bells.

"I do get up at this time." I said. "I was just thinking."

"Well, get dressed and come downstairs." She said, politely. "I already woke Leah and Vera up."

"Thanks," I said, randomly.

"For what?"

"I don't know," I said.

"Well breakfast will be ready soon." She said and walked downstairs.

I looked down at what I was wearing; my spider man pajamas.

I went into my closet and grabbed a black tee and a pair of jeans.

I put them on and slipped on my black tennis shoes.

I fixed my black hair and walked downstairs. Leah and Vera were already seated.

I waited for Esme to finish scanning the cabinets. She seemed unfamiliar with this.

The nightmare went to the front of my mind.

I shuddered and pushed it to the side of my mind.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked.

"Pancakes," We all said.

"Pancakes it is," She seemed unsure how to make them. But she proceeded to make pancakes.

Dad came downstairs when she finished cooking. He was quite grouchy today.

She gave us our food, and sat down. "Dig in," She said, smiling at us.

I ate my bacon first. I dipped it into the syrup. Yum, I thought as I chewed it.

Then I finished my pancakes and eggs.

I observed how Esme ate. She picked at it and put it in her mouth, not being able to keep a straight face. She was utterly disgusted at the food she made.

Maybe she wanted something else…. like blood. I shuddered.

_Just because you had a dream about it, doesn't make it real. _My conscience told me. _Esme isn't a monster._

She finished her plate and ran to the bathroom.

When she came back, she looked disgusted. But she quickly put on a smile.

"Are you okay?" Dad asked, no concern whatsoever in his voice.

"I'm fine," Esme literally growled at him.

"What happened?" Dad ignored her answer.

"I ate too much." She said. "I have a weak stomach."

Dad muttered something under his breath.

"Now are we ready for school?" He asked.

"Yes!" Leah cheered. "Mrs. Bowman said we'll paint some more today." She giggled.

"What about you, Vera?" He asked her.

"I'm happy," She said "Mrs. Newsome said we'll have extra homework today, though."

Homework wasn't Vera's thing. She preferred art and math.

Dad shot a glance at me.

"Mrs. Anderson said we have another special assignment, today." I said, happily.

Even though I hated school, Science was my favorite subject and Mrs. Anderson taught it.

I smiled.

"Good, now let's go," He said and he drove us to school.

* * *

A/N: There will be pranks in the next chapters. I promise. After the Cullens 'come home from school' Emmett and Jasper will start pranking her. She already thinks she's crazy, lol.

Review this and try out my other story, Moonlight Changes.

Here is the summary for it:

_Jane decides that her time with the Volturi is up. But where does she go? Will there be war? And what the heck is happening to Jane? Read and find out._

It's really good so far. The first chapter really builds suspence. Please read?


	8. A Morning with a Paranoid Woman

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for all of the reviews! Speaking of reviews, try reading Moonlight Changes. I'm a bit sad that I don't get many reviews on it and I would appreciate it if you would review it too. =D

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8. A Morning with a Paranoid Woman – Edward POV

_Esme didn't say anything about couples in the handbook_, Heather droned on and on about how she was crazy in her thoughts.

We already knew that she was crazy. And just to make her feel crazier; I pulled Bella closer and kissed her cheek.

Heather screamed.

"Dude, what's with the bad attitude?" I said, loud enough for human ears. Then I whispered for only vampire hearing, "Act like normal siblings!"

I took my arm from around Bella, Emmett moved away from Rosalie, and Jasper moved away from Bella.

_Maybe I really am losing it. _I let out a fast laugh. This woman was comedy.

"So, sorry about that." She said. "I'm losing it."

"You totally are." I muttered, just loud enough for her to pick the sound up, but I barely moved my lips.

She scanned through us.

"So… Breakfast's ready!" She seemed unsure of something. _I'm freaking out!_

We ate the horrible food, but I kept laughing quietly and Heather kept thinking that she was losing it.

* * *

Heather POV

I stared at the Cullen kids just as Edward kissed Bella's cheek.

I couldn't take it anymore, I looked up and screamed.

"Dude what's with the bad attitude?" Edward asked as if nothing happened.

When I looked back at them, everything was normal.

Maybe I really am losing it. And then I heard another laugh.

"Sorry, about that." I said. "I'm losing it."

"You totally are." A voice said.

I kept staring at them.

"Breakfast's ready." I said, unsure about what happens next.

* * *

Sorry, it's not long. Did you like it?


	9. Skipping School, Miley Cyrus & a Witch

Sorry it took so long to update; I'm working on a funny fanfiction that I'll post soon. It's called 'Mike reads The Twilight Saga' lol.

Enjoy this chapter

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Heather pov

9. Skipping School, Miley Cyrus and a Witch

* * *

"Hey, New Mommy," The big one called, after breakfast. "Today's a teacher workday."

"Okay…"

"Yeah and we're going to go upstairs and sleep." He said, laughing. I had a feeling he was hiding something.

Him and the others except Jake and Nessie went upstairs.

"So, do you go to school today?" I asked her.

"I tutor her." Jacob cut in.

"Okay…" I was confused; this was weird and this was a weird family.

**Alice pov**

"Plan in action." I whispered.

"Roger that." Emmett whispered back.

"Hey, New Mommy," Emmett said. "Today's a teacher workday."

"Okay…"

"Yeah and we're going to go upstairs and sleep." He started laughing.

We all went upstairs.

"Part Two in action." I whispered from my room.

I held up a CD I bought yesterday for this plan. It was 'Breakout: Platinum Edition' and by Miley Cyrus.

"That CD's old, y'know?" Bella said.

"It has enough rock music to drive Heather bonkers." I replied.

"Oh." Rosalie and Bella understood.

I put it in and pressed play.

_Every week's the same,_

_Stuck in school so lame,_

_My parents say that I'm lazy_

_Getting up at 8am's crazy_

_Tired being told what to do,_

_So unfair, so uncool_

_The day's too long and I'm holding on_

'_till I hear the bell ring_

_Cuz it's the time when we're gonna break out and let the party start_

_We're going to stay out, gonna break some hearts_

_We're going to dance 'till the dance floor falls apart, yeah, yeah all over again_

I put it on full blast.

* * *

Heather pov

I sat at the kitchen table. I heard some faded rock music coming from upstairs.

Vera listened to that stuff; but not much.

As long as it wasn't loud I was happy.

Then it was on full blast. I sighed and went upstairs.

"Whoever has the music on better run!" I yelled.

The brats laughed.

"Shut up!"

For that moment, I didn't care that the cameras were behind me.

I ran to Alice and Rosalie's room – the music was coming from there. No one was there.

* * *

Emmett pov

Heather stormed upstairs.

"Run!" I whispered.

"Better yet, stay." Alice said. "A mere old woman can't catch us."

"Whoever has the music on better run!" The hag yelled.

"That means Alice, Bella and Rosalie." I said.

They burst out laughing.

Alice, Bella and Rosalie ran outside.

"Shut up!" The witch screamed.

We laughed more.

She screamed - it sounded like a cat screeching.

* * *

L-O-L, I promised pranks, didn't I?


	10. Heather's Messy Room

A/N: So, sorry. My cousin and bff came over and spent the week with me cuz we haven't seen each other since school and she demanded we spent tons of time together, so I couldn't update. It was really fun and she just left, and I remember how I needed to update Wife Swap.

And I wrote a bit, got lazy and didn't write anything else. Then I got a kitten and helped her nap, now. I'm singing a song for my kitten and writing, so I might mistakes.

fan: I will make her mean and self absorbed in the later chapters; after rule change. *chuckles evilly* Cuz, she's really nice; but she's gonna be full of herself because she can't tame the Cullen kids. *starts cracking up*

Sings: The Cullens can't be tamed! Can't be tamed! Can't be tamed! **(spoof of 'Can't be Tamed' by 'Miley Cyrus')**

fleur24: I totally forgot about Seth, don't worry though. I'm gonna make a scene where Seth chases Heather all over the yard. Idk, though, should it be after rule change? The flashback was my fave part to write, since I can imagine missing out on part of the conversation. Btw, thanks, obviously they would break the rule about couples and physical touch.

Okay, so on with the story. (srry about all the bad grammar up here, I use better grammar in writing mode, lol)

* * *

**1. Heather's Messy Room and the Freshly Painted Car**

**Alice pov**

I had the perfect plan for a prank. And now was the perfect time, Emmett was outside and Heather was getting the mail.

I walked toward the cupboards, grabbed syrup and a can of corn. I took the corn out of the can and cooked it. I put it into a cup and poured syrup on top of it. **(Don't ask how she can cook the corn that fast! Lol, =D)**

I wrinkled my nose at the scent, put the cup down and snuck into the master bedroom. I put the locker combination in the lock on Carlisle and Esme's spare closet and got the Nerf Gun that Emmett was banned from.

I ran downstairs and poured the mushy liquid into the Nerf Gun. I raced upstairs silently, at vampire speed and shot the guest room with the Nerf Gun. There was corn on the floor and syrup on the walls.

I chuckled and put the Nerf Gun on the dresser and I raced to the garage and took out a can of yellow paint. I pulled a stool up toward my yellow Porsche. From another person's point of view, I would be innocently painting my car.

I laughed evilly and painted over a scratch that I had gotten accidently last week and never gotten the chance to cover up.

**Heather pov**

I got the mail from the mailbox and walked back up the driveway. I could faintly smell syrup, but it was probably just my imagination.

I sighed and opened the door. The scent got stronger, it was probably leftover from breakfast. I walked upstairs and opened my room door. The cameras followed.

My room was covered in syrup and corn. I screamed.

I heard Emmett's voice from behind me. "What the hell, Heather?" He said loudly.

Then I heard soft footsteps on the stairs and Alice approached us. Her face was innocent and seemed to have concern written on it. "What did Emmett do?" She sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. She sneezed and walked into my room. "Nerf Gun," She pointed toward a toy on the dresser. "Syrup," She looked at the walls. "Corn," She sighed and turned towards me. "Call dad; He had the Nerf Gun locked up, but apparently Emmett, here," She gestured toward Emmett, "found out the lock combination and where it was." She sighed.

"Okay, I'll call your dad." I walked downstairs and walked toward the home phone. It started ringing. I checked the caller ID. Forks High School…

I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello, is this Carlisle or Esme Cullen?" A voice asked.

"This is Heather Brooke; the Cullens are participating in Wife Swap. I'm the new mom." I said.

"Whatever, anyway, the following students weren't in school today: Alice Swan, Emmett Cullen, Edward Cullen, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale and Bella Swan." Odd. A few of the kids kept their last names.

"I'm so sorry." I said. "They told me that today was a teacher workday. I promise they'll attend school normally. "

"Alright." The voice hung up.

I sighed and dialed the hospital's number.

"Forks Hospital. This is Nurse Jade; how may I help you?" A woman answered.

"May I speak to Carlisle Cullen?" I asked.

"Sure, let me put him on." The line went silent and Carlisle answered.

"Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen; how may I -?" I cut him off.

"Carlisle, come home! It's a major emergency." I nearly shrieked.

"Heather? I'll be right home?" He said, panicking.

I sighed and hung up, but not before hearing Carlisle murmur to himself, "Emmett," as if it were an explanation, as to what happened.

And it probably was.


	11. The Last Day Of Freedom

A/N: Listen, I'm really sorry for stopping updating. But from now and on, I will update my stories. However, I have to delete my other stories, as I have grown away from Twilight. I will, probably, start posting Harry Potter stories if I can get around to making them more successful . And, as I am very busy, my updates will be random, but I will try to update when I can.

A/N: I appreciate it when people like my stories and I'm hoping that if I start writing Harry Potter stories, they will like them too. I've been writing around lately, and I was wondering if my reviewers would like the idea of this story. Next Generation is what I will call it, and it will be a Harry Potter story. It will be about Harry's kids and their adventures at Hogwarts. Do you think it will be worth reading if I ever get around to posting it?

Reviews are accepted and they encourage me to write more. Please review once you read to tell me what you think.

Chapter Eleven:

The Last Day of Freedom

**HEATHER BROOKE**

_The Cullen children are really prats. _I thought angrily, glaring out the window. _Why do they have to ruin my life with syrup and corn? _

It had taken days to get the stench out of the guest room. When Carlisle had gotten home, Emmett had it in for him. Carlisle said it was only fair for me to make a punishment for him at Rule Change since he had gotten my stuff syrup-y.

I couldn't believe it when Carlisle told me. It could be anything. _Anything_. I had smiled so widely then. "I'll make sure it's the perfect punishment." I had told him.

I know knew exactly what to do and the punishment wasn't for just Emmett. It was for every little brat who had annoyed me in this house. I'd ban them from their most special possessions. If they ran, then I'd hunt them down. I laugh silently. Oh… they'd see. Nobody messes with Heather and gets away with it. My own children had never done this before; they'd had their share of punishments, but nothing compared to this.

I hastily ate my cereal and raced to my guest room. _Squeaky clean._ I thought happily to myself as I remembered how Edward and Bella had volunteered to clean it. Those two just wouldn't be punished. They didn't do anything bad yet even though accidents had happened. But they just apologized and offered to help.

I went into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I so needed a makeover. I grabbed the brush off the counter and ran it through my super short hair. I was glad no one had attacked it yet, because if they did, the punishments would be worse than they already were.

I hummed to myself as I fixed my makeup. After all my hard work at this house, it was hard to believe I was still stunning. I skipped downstairs and glanced at the note on the refrigerator door. It was a grocery list. I read over it and got into Esme's nice silver SUV. I glanced at the note again and backed out the driveway.

_Time to go shopping_.

**ALICE CULLEN**

The hall was crowded as I walked down it. People were chatting and laughing. I had a major headache.

The many teenagers didn't bother me. It was something much worse than that. I had had a vision of Heather at Rule Change. _She can't do this to us. _I thought, over and over again.

"Actually," said Edward, coming up behind me. "She can."

"I know." I said quietly. "But she just can't. It will ruin my life."

"You'll be able to buy new clothes." Bella said.

"I know, but she'll get rid of my favorites… and Rosalie's too." I cried.

"You'll be fine," said Jazzy.

"I know…" I whispered/yelled.

I turned and ran into my biology class. I sat down in my seat near the back and wept silently. _She can't do this_. I thought miserably.

**EMMETT CULLEN**

I don't know why Alice is so upset. I mean, the worst that can happen is burning clothes, right? And Alice does that all the time. I so do not get girls. Especially vampire girls…

A/N: Sorry that it's short, but well, if they're at school, they can't play pranks and I'm too tired to write much. Just be glad it's another chapter.


	12. A Fainting Day at the Library

I have nothing important to say, because, as I just posted the 11th chapter, I said it all then.

Chapter Twelve:

The Day at the Library

**ALEX BROOKE**

My dream had been bothering me all day. I didn't focus in class. I didn't listen to anything anyone said. Tomorrow was Rule Change. I was afraid as to what Esme might do. _She might be bloodthirsty. _A dark voice in my head sneered.

_She won't be. _My conscience spoke up. _Esme's not a monster._

_Or is she? _My inner devil said.

_SHE ISN'T! _My conscience screamed.

And then… everything went black…

**NURSE**

The young boy had fainted in class. I felt sorry for him. His friends thought he was crazy. "SHE ISN'T!" He had screamed.

He awoke an hour later in the bed. "Wh -" He asked.

"You fainted in class."

He took a deep breath. "Oh..." he breathed. "May I go to the library?"

"Sure." I said, shrugging.

**ALEX BROOKE**

I rushed to the school library and sat down at a computer. _Vampires,_ I googled.

_"Vampires are supposedly mythical creatures. But experts know that isn't true. Vampires don't sleep in coffins and don't burn in sunlight. Here is a list of the qualities an average vampire has:_

_Sparklyness – Vampires shine in the sunlight._

_Beautiful – They are inhumanly beautiful._

_Eternal Life – Vampires live forever._

_Change In Eye Color – Eyes can change from red to black and black to red or from gold to black and black to gold._

_Super Strength – Vampires have super cold (and hard) skin, and it gives them the ability of super strength."_

Well, Esme did sparkle sometimes when we went outside. She did appear to be inhumanly beautiful. Her eyes changed color sometimes and her skin was cold and hard. She had a distaste for human food.

She _was _a vampire.

A/N: Did you like that? You didn't expect that, did you?


	13. The Terrifying Truth

Chapter Thirteen:

The Terrifying Truth

**HEATHER BROOKE**

I awoke bright and early the morning of Rule Change. I waqs excited. I was happy for the punishment of the brats and this time – I was grateful – it wasn't a fantasy.

I took a long shower and rushed downstairs in clean clothes. I prepared waffles – by stuffing them in the toaster – and put them on plates. Then, I rushed upstairs and knocked on each door.

"WAKE THE –bleep- UP!" I yelled, before running downstairs and sitting down. MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

"Okay." A voice hissed.

**EDWARD CULLEN**

I lay silently – and naked – beside Bella running my hand up and down her thigh.

"WAKE THE –bleep- UP!" Heather screeched

"Okay…" I hissed. Before kissing Bella one last time, I dressed at vampire speed and rushed back to my own room which I shared with Jacob.

We walked downstairs and sat down at the table. "Today," Heather said. "Is Saturday, Rule Change."

She glanced at the camera and whispered, "I'm going to ruin your lives."

_Oh yes. I will ruin their –bleeping- lives. They better be –bleeping- good. Or else they'll be in deep –bleep-._

I took a deep breath and blocked her thoughts.

_This lady scares me._ Jake thought. He raised his hand. "I have to go pee." He whined.

"Go then." Heather sneered.

Jake smiled slightly. "I'm going to go pee in the bushes." He went outside.

**JACOB BLACK**

"I'm going to go pee in the bushes." I said, smiling slightly. I hurried outside. "I hope I don't wet my diaper!" I called. And then I rushed into the forest.

I went wolf. _Seth,_ I asked.

_Yes._ He said.

_Will you do me a favor? _I hinted.

_Smother the –bleep-? Of course._

_Thanks._

I phased back and ran inside. "Can we do this outside?" I asked.

"Why?" Heather asked.

"My wiener might mess up." I said, retardedly.

The vamps snickered.

"Okay." Heather wrinkled her nose.

We went outside and sat on the ground.

"Okay, so – today is Rule Change." Heather said. "Rule 1." She glanced at her notepad. "Emmett is banned from video games until he can manage his language and behavior. Emmett, I'm tired of you cursing every five minutes."

I raised my hand. "I have to go empty my tank!" I yelled before running into the bushes.

"Commence plan." I whispered to Seth. I ran back to where they sat.

"Ahh." I moaned. "Much better."

Heather glared. "Rule #2 is Alice must empty her closet as with Rosalie."

They both glared.

"Bella shouldn't because I know she'll hate shopping for more and plus, she's been a good girl."

"Rule #3 –" She didn't get any farther than that….

JACOB IS RETARDED! RETARDED I TELL YA! lol, he really is. But I love him anyways... But I'm still Team Eddie. 


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